Friday, June 17, 2005
Sheep
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH!!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
If only men would listen.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH!!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
If only men would listen.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Minds
Some minds are like concrete
--thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
--thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Shipwrecked
This one is a groaner.
A guy gets shipwrecked.
When he wakes up, he's on a beach.
The sand is dark red.
He can't believe it.
The sky is dark red.
He walks around a bit and sees
there is dark red grass,
dark red birds
and dark red fruit
on the dark red trees.
He's shocked when he finds
that his skin is starting to
turn dark red too.
"Oh no!!" he says.
"I think I've been marooned!!"
A guy gets shipwrecked.
When he wakes up, he's on a beach.
The sand is dark red.
He can't believe it.
The sky is dark red.
He walks around a bit and sees
there is dark red grass,
dark red birds
and dark red fruit
on the dark red trees.
He's shocked when he finds
that his skin is starting to
turn dark red too.
"Oh no!!" he says.
"I think I've been marooned!!"
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
eeek
Well knock me down with a feather...someone actually read my Kew post and brought it up as they passed me at the entrance gate. Wow, I'm famous. lol
Many thanks to everyone who asked for more jokes and saying.....I'll get onto it...eventually. lol
Many thanks to everyone who asked for more jokes and saying.....I'll get onto it...eventually. lol
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Kew at Clandeboye 2005
I am getting a lot of enquiries relating to the Kew at Clandeboye (2005) events so for all you out there in cyberland wanting tickets ....
Monday 13th June 2005 7.30 at Clandeboye Estate, Bangor, Co Down
The Kew Lecture - Filming a Year at Kew - this lecture is given by Kew's own Tony Kirkham.
Tuesday 14th June 2005 6.00 pm
Kew at Clandeboye - A chance to let the Kew experts guide you around the private historical gardens at Clandeboye.
Garden Walk with the Kew team and Fergus Thompson the head gardener at Clandeboye.
Wednesday 15th June 2005 10-30 am to 4 pm
Kew@clandeboye - Get up close with the experts.
Kew Master Classes. Please choose one of the following classes for your AM class and one class for your PM class.
A - Specimen Tree Care
B - Identifying the Collection
C - Designing in biodiversity
D - Wild Flower Meadows
E - Woodland Habitats
F - The Joy of Visitors
Bring your own lunch or purchase from the delectable selection on offer from 'Simply Irresistible'
Tickets to each event is £8.00 each per person.
For a programme and booking form please ring Clandeboye Office on 02891852966. If you are lucky you might even get to speak to me!
"This is the third year that the senior staff from Kew will visit us to get away from the hustle and bustle of Kew Gardens and enjoy the tranquility of Clandeboye..." Lady Dufferin [excerpt from the 2005 Kew @ clandeboye programme]
Monday 13th June 2005 7.30 at Clandeboye Estate, Bangor, Co Down
The Kew Lecture - Filming a Year at Kew - this lecture is given by Kew's own Tony Kirkham.
Tuesday 14th June 2005 6.00 pm
Kew at Clandeboye - A chance to let the Kew experts guide you around the private historical gardens at Clandeboye.
Garden Walk with the Kew team and Fergus Thompson the head gardener at Clandeboye.
Wednesday 15th June 2005 10-30 am to 4 pm
Kew@clandeboye - Get up close with the experts.
Kew Master Classes. Please choose one of the following classes for your AM class and one class for your PM class.
A - Specimen Tree Care
B - Identifying the Collection
C - Designing in biodiversity
D - Wild Flower Meadows
E - Woodland Habitats
F - The Joy of Visitors
Bring your own lunch or purchase from the delectable selection on offer from 'Simply Irresistible'
Tickets to each event is £8.00 each per person.
For a programme and booking form please ring Clandeboye Office on 02891852966. If you are lucky you might even get to speak to me!
"This is the third year that the senior staff from Kew will visit us to get away from the hustle and bustle of Kew Gardens and enjoy the tranquility of Clandeboye..." Lady Dufferin [excerpt from the 2005 Kew @ clandeboye programme]
